Holding On
by Phoenixica24
Summary: Severus' oath to Lily, how he held on to her memory until the day he died.


**A/N: Thanks to my beta Azzie for looking this over for me! Anyone interested in beta'ing please PM me I keep randomly overwhelming her with chapters** **L**

 **Written for a HO PotD June 20-26 2015.**

 **Holding On:**

 **As students streamed out of the classroom, Severus laid down his quill and sighed. As soon as the door slammed closed behind the last irritating teen, he dropped his face in his hands and rubbed his temples. He had never thought being a simple teacher would be quite so exhausting. Then again, he wasn't simply a teacher. He never had been. He had made a promise, one he almost hadn't been able to keep, but keep it he did.**

 ** _The sky had been blue, the grass green, the air warm, but not stifling. The water they had dipped their feet into had been cool._**

 ** _"_** ** _Sev?" Lily had asked hesitantly. She was always thinking._**

 ** _"_** ** _Yes?" he had replied, always willing to hear what she had come up with that time._**

 ** _"_** ** _What if…what if we end up in different houses?"_**

 ** _"_** ** _Well, we'll still be friends."_**

 ** _"_** ** _Is that possible?"_**

 ** _"_** ** _Of course it is! What house you're in doesn't change who you are." He'd sat up then, and looked her in the eyes. Her beautiful eyes. "And if it doesn't change who we are, it won't change our friendship."_**

 ** _"_** ** _Truly?"_**

 ** _"_** ** _Truly."_**

 ** _"_** ** _Sev?"_**

 ** _"_** ** _Yeah?"_**

 ** _"_** ** _What if we do change? I mean, we are going to. We're going to grow up."_**

 ** _"_** ** _We'll still be friends."_**

 ** _"_** ** _How do you know?"_**

 ** _"_** ** _Because."_**

 ** _"_** ** _Because how, Sev?" she'd whined. She'd always hated when he wouldn't give her a straight answer._**

 ** _"_** ** _Because…" he'd hesitated. "Because friendship means love, Lily. And we're friends. And…and it's unconditionally." He'd been fumbling for words, trying to justify what he felt, and he'd messed it all up so badly, but she'd smiled that bright smile of hers and continued on, not noticing what he really meant, what he'd always meant to say._**

 ** _"_** ** _Sev…can you tell me something I can hold on to forever and never let go?" He'd been confused, but he'd finally said it._**

 ** _"_** ** _I love you. I will always protect you and be there to make you happy."_**

 **** ** _But because of his earlier words, she had assumed he meant as friends, and vowed the same, not knowing he meant something entirely different._**

 **** ** _But they had been separated. And they had changed. Slowly at first, then more rapidly, until nothing made sense anymore and everything he'd cared about was gone. He'd always loved her. Finally, after hearing about her engagement, he'd gone to see her._**

 ** _"_** ** _What do you want?"_**

 ** _"_** ** _To talk."_**

 ** _"_** ** _Save your breath."_**

 ** _"_** ** _I need you to tell me something."_**

 ** _"_** ** _What?"_**

 ** _"_** ** _Something I can hold on to forever and never let go." Lily had stopped in the middle of closing the door in his face. He couldn't see her in the shadows, but he could hear the hiccup in her breathing._**

 ** _"_** ** _Sev…I'm engaged. And after what happened, I—"_**

 ** _"_** ** _It doesn't change anything."_**

 ** _"_** ** _It changes everything, Sev!"_**

 ** _"_** ** _Unconditionally." Lily shook her head._**

 ** _"_** ** _Stop it." She had been crying then. Said the only way for her to be happy now was for him to leave, that he was Dark now and she didn't want to be a part of it._**

 ** _"_** ** _I will always protect you." he had vowed._**

 **** ** _But even that promise had been broken._**

 **** ** _But he had looked up, with Lily's body in his arms, her beautiful green eyes closed forever, and seen those same eyes looking at him, full of tears._**

 **** ** _And he protected the child. Because love is timeless, formless, shapeless. Because he had made so many promises, and this was one he could still keep. Because the child was her, had her blood, her eyes. He could see little bits of her in the way the boy behaved, though he would never admit it. He protected Lily by protecting her son._**

 **** **Six years later, as the darkness filled his vision, and he knew his end had come, those same eyes looked at him, full of tears. And then the darkness faded, and her voice asked him again.**

 **"** **Tell me something I can hold on to forever and never let go."**

 **"** **I loved you."**

 **And the tears fell.**


End file.
